Author: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.
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HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 2: Yeah, that’s my experience. Humbling to the point where you have major regrets about some of the stupid things you said, some of the things you thought were right. You keep going to these countries, and it’s like, you forgot the lesson from the last time. Because the first person you encounter kind of bitch-slaps you upside the head in the most wonderful, innocent way and you realize, God, I’m still an asshole. And this guy, by doing nothing except being broke and so incredibly polite—it takes you aback, you realize, I’m still not there yet. I still have like eight miles to go before I can even get into the parking lot of humility. I have to keep going back. It’s like going back to a chiropractor to get a readjustment. That’s me in Africa, that’s me in Southeast Asia. You come back humbled and you bring that into your life. It’s made me much more tolerant of other peoples—and I’m not saying I used to be a misogynist, or I used to be a racist, that was never my problem. But I can be extremely headstrong, impatient, rude. Like, “Hurry up, man. What’s your problem? Get out of my way.” That sentiment comes easy to me. Going to these countries, you realize none of that is necessary, none of it’s cool, it’s nothing Abraham Lincoln would do, and so why are you doing it? Those are the lessons I’ve learned.” ― Henry Rollins A long quote today. I loved reading this. It put me into a place I get to be in quite often. That is recognizing how truly humility eludes me. I get to see this from time to time on a large scale and am always blown away by my life and how much more I can do and be to be of service. Each moment I spend in service, whether it is to people, the planet, animals or whatever inspires me to be of further service and do more. It is a self-propelling thing that pushes me farther with each moment I get to serve. Travelling certainly shows me how others live. I am always blown away by how happy people are in 3rd world countries, living in abject poverty and without the things I believe are vital necessities to my life. They are so damned happy! I don’t see that here. I look around, and people are so stressed out with life and so terribly unhappy. And so terribly entitled and ungrateful and demanding. It is such a powerful lesson and gift to see another aspect of it all. I remember a friend who travelled to Nepal and gave me the opportunity to give to others some things that meant little or nothing to me at that time. And how it all came about. It changed my life. I am still not able to breathe when I remember that story and how it worked out for him and for me. Beautiful! And so many other times in my life when I get the chance to be present to beauty and grace and wonder and awe that there are such lovely people in the world and my focus is so seldom on that. I want to be a better human and to do more and be more in love with this side of life. Shifting that focus, again and again to what it can be and so seldom is. I am so beautifully blessed!

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INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 27: “Justification for infidelity and dishonesty in all their manifestations lies in the marginal cost economics of “just this once.” ― Clayton M. Christensen I have said this so many times. It is always because it serves me in some way that is not necessary, but something that I would like. I learn this again and again. If I tell myself that I want to do this or that thing, go to this or that event, or have this or that experience, I can somehow justify things that do not really feed me. There is always a payoff. Sometimes, actually, most of the time, I am not willing to live with the costs. And I find that the event, experience or whatever is often unsatisfying. I will do things with people I don’t really want to spend time with because they sound like fun, then find that I don’t enjoy it nearly as much as I think I will. This is a constant pattern I have seen in my life. Why? Because I don’t really always want to be around people in social settings. I don’t truly enjoy them the way that I somehow convince myself I will. I really enjoy some of them, just being with people I truly respect and admire or enjoy. That is not always the case. So I have to be more mindful of those experiences that I put myself into. There are things that I really believe in and things that I think I like. Then I learn, again and again, that there is little or no truth to these things I tell myself or believe. It is more important to fill my life with those things that truly feed my spirit, rather than manufactured ways of spending my time. Like, a long walk (even alone) on the beach is much better food for my soul than a day at Disneyland. Oh yeah! Perhaps it is my age, but I am less inclined to do things that are overwhelming and intense. I prefer peaceful and calm and soothing. Sometimes I enjoy the energy of a thing because it brings me something in the experience I may have missed otherwise. Most of the time, I just enjoy the things that come from my love of the natural world. But I do know that while this quote speaks of infidelity and dishonesty, I am too; but in different ways. I can only practice fidelity to my soul, as well as honesty. When I trick me, I feel the repercussion and I do not like it! These are also shortcuts to pleasures that I feel I am missing somehow in my solitude and quiet lifestyle. I find that they are deeply untrue, and am glad when I do this less and less often to trick myself…”Just this once.”