INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 23: “I rather quickly discovered that to find the ‘easy way’ all I have to do is take the ‘right way’ and prune it down to the point that it doesn’t demand anything of me. But despite its rather dubious appearance of ease, what it ends up demanding of me is my integrity. And there’s nothing ‘easy’ about giving that up.” ― Craig D. Lounsbrough
In AA, the phrase “easier, softer way” is often quoted. We all want that. It makes sense that if we are too lazy or uninspired to work through our difficulties any further than to drink them out of our minds, that we are going to look for every shortcut and easy solution.
Life does not provide for those. It is like anything else we do, if it is worth doing at all, it must be worth doing well and with full attention to each detail.
I find that the rewards I often obtain are within the details. Entitled as most addicts are, there seems to be a common belief that others are responsible to do those things we would rather not do. This is easy for those who have the wherewithal to hire others to do things for them. What I find is that the physical doing of most of my own chores is the source of the cardio workout my body needs each day, all the time. I see what happens to those who hire others to do all of their manual labor for them.
As well as those who let others follow up on the details of their own responsibilities. We achieve self-esteem and self-worth in accomplishing our own tasks, whatever they may be.
And that cannot be achieved in any other fashion.
We are runners. We want to run from all responsibility and anything we deem unpleasant or “hard.” There is absolutely nothing hard in recovery…nothing. The idea of that is what we use to stay in ego and do nothing. We make our resistance to it the part that makes it hard.
When we let go of the idea of hard, each task is just that…a task. Never hard, never was. I have done some things that were really scary and could have been deemed “hard.” None of them were. I just had to sit still with my discomfort at things I would rather not do and do them anyway.
On the other side of that, I have had freedom from the stupid belief that anything is ever hard. It isn’t, but I sure can create that BS story. And have. But less often now than ever.
Life is just life. If we only show up to what we are comfortable with, we will never receive the gifts in doing what we believed was a challenge. If it ain’t a challenge, it ain’t worth doing in my book.