May 15

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 15: “A noble soul predicates its living charter upon leading a principled existence. Without personal integrity, a person leads a feckless and meaningless life.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster

I cannot imagine believing myself to be a noble soul. But that is a beautiful goal, isn’t it? I love this quote, which is a new one for me this year. I got a couple from this author. I love that he uses the term principled, because I believe that is what we are shooting for here, isn’t it?

It is what I have been shooting for since joining you folks. I love the principles and  the steps, because they are the set of instructions I knew everyone else had but I did not for so long.

Do you remember that feeling of wondering why everyone else seemed so comfortable and at ease with life and how it was supposed to play out? I do.

I hear that a lot in meetings. That sense of being lost in a strange land where no one talked about how frightening it is to be growing up without all the information needed to do it. I agree. I always felt like there was a huge chunk of information I was not privy to, but everyone else knew. Being left out like that was always a sense of embarrassment and shame for me.

Today, I have these amazing instructions that tell me all I need to know to navigate life. It is still going to be a mystery about what is coming next, but that Promise about knowing intuitively how to handle new situations is certainly true for me today. I love that.

I did not know how to remain in contact with that part of my heart where my center lies and where the truth is always accessible. I tried really hard to cover it up, because I knew I was not in alignment with that.

I have led a feckless and meaningless life. I could still be doing that, but my heart won’t let me. It tells me it is no matter about the outside stuff…money, property and prestige are not my solutions. They do not feed my spirit. Principles and integrity do. I love that. Perhaps, one day, I will feel myself to be a noble soul. Till then, I have the map.

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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