September 5

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 5: “Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past.” ― Shannon L. Alder

I always loved the old saying, “Living well is the best revenge.” If I have ever had enemies, I am not sure who they might have been. That is total and true freedom.

I am too busy with a good life to let others get under my skin. Any damages I may have created in my life have been cleaned up as best I could. Those who continue to hold me responsible for more than my share of their hardships are going to have to do so without my participation.

I have a dear friend who lives with such tremendous guilt and shame from her past that she is literally killing herself with it. A horribly sad situation. But useless, nonetheless.

Those who hold us hostage to the past are being just as crippled by that as we are in allowing it. Everyone loses in that kind of codependence. Everyone.

If I have truly made amends with others, not apologies, not trying to buy their good favor in any way, but true amends, then I am free to walk away from all of it. If there is something to be rebuilt in the relationship, I want to start without recrimination and shame or guilt. Otherwise, I would rather erase the board completely, knowing I have done all that was in my power to do.

I will walk this path until I leave this time and place. But I will not walk with my head down. I will meet everyone with a direct look into their eyes because I carry no shame, no remorse, no guilt and no Ego either. That is REAL freedom my friends.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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