FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 5: “Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past.” ― Shannon L. Alder
I always loved the old saying, “Living well is the best revenge.” If I have ever had enemies, I am not sure who they might have been. That is total and true freedom.
I am too busy with a good life to let others get under my skin. Any damages I may have created in my life have been cleaned up as best I could. Those who continue to hold me responsible for more than my share of their hardships are going to have to do so without my participation.
I have a dear friend who lives with such tremendous guilt and shame from her past that she is literally killing herself with it. A horribly sad situation. But useless, nonetheless.
Those who hold us hostage to the past are being just as crippled by that as we are in allowing it. Everyone loses in that kind of codependence. Everyone.
If I have truly made amends with others, not apologies, not trying to buy their good favor in any way, but true amends, then I am free to walk away from all of it. If there is something to be rebuilt in the relationship, I want to start without recrimination and shame or guilt. Otherwise, I would rather erase the board completely, knowing I have done all that was in my power to do.
I will walk this path until I leave this time and place. But I will not walk with my head down. I will meet everyone with a direct look into their eyes because I carry no shame, no remorse, no guilt and no Ego either. That is REAL freedom my friends.
Dolphin Hug 