FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 4: “Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”― Bill Moyers
This quote works so well for me. Addicts have all allowed other people to be the author of their stories. We may have abuse or just long-term resentments that rule our lives. We get to recognize these patterns in Step 4, and Step 9 is where they can become released. We get to decide how much power these people have over our lives.
Most of the time, our resentments are against those who seemingly harmed us. My experience is that many of those people have also been wronged by us, usually before they retaliated and we got resentful about it.
No matter how the resentment is formed, we usually have to make an amends to these people in some fashion. When we REALLY amend the relationship, we are free. We are free from the stories WE have created around the situation and the people.
We are free from the consistent nagging of Ego that tells us what asshats those people are in our lives. How we were wronged, etc., etc., etc.
That is true freedom. They are off the hook from us and we can walk away from the story. When that happens, life can step in and we get to leave all of it behind us. If that is what we truly want. There are some that may go on for years, but we continue to release the energy and become free. That is what happens in an amends process.
It is NEVER about the other person. It is about freeing ourselves from the story about the other person and the power they hold over us, as long as we give them that power.
It is truly insane to carry that on. It does nothing for anyone and we get to be free of the resentment and constant emotional upheaval around that person. Yay! I love this step!