INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 20: “I’m not interested in what you say. I’m interested in what you do. But more than that, I’m interested in what you do when no one else is there to see it but you. And because I will never witness those moments, I hope that you do.”― Craig D. Lounsbrough
Yeah, I like this. I want to be able to sit still with the review of my life and all its behaviors at the end of my days. To be at peace with everything I have ever done because it served some purpose in my life. Even if the purpose was to teach me something I did not know before that.
Like all the things I got to clean up when I got into this thing. I believe those things were my admission price to being here. Had I not done them, I may not still be around. But when you pay high prices, this life is more precious than those whose only 9th Step was a mumbled, half-ass apology. I know better, so I did better. That, for me, defines integrity. When I know better, I must do better.
Without the lifestyle I no longer live, I cannot con myself into believing I do not owe those amends. I must do them. And sitting with my behaviors and addressing my own wrongs is the beginning of knowing when I need to clean something up. I have a great deal of peace with all of it today. I may not have done it all perfectly, but I got so many opportunities to see Divine Intervention along the way that I know my path is right!