HONESTY MONTH: DAY 30: “Your words will either give you joy or give you sorrow, but if they were spoken without regret, they give you peace.”― Shannon Alder
When you are honest about your boundaries and what behaviors do and do not work for you, it will be tough to remain friendly with a lot of people who are not happy with being told NO. That will happen in families, with friends, at work, at play, and especially in the recovering communities.
Social dysfunction is rampant in our culture. Families get in the middle of each other’s lives and demand the right to give opinions about everything. This happens where ever you go. It is interesting to watch the faces people make when I let them know I don’t need or want their opinions.
We can ask for any opinions we want to hear, but I let others know that I did not ask when they insist on telling me.
Chuck C. had a great way of speaking and writing about this. He just told others, all the time, that “What you think of me is none of my business.” That concept comes from a great spiritual work. I studied that spiritual work for the first 10 years of my recovery and learned quite a bit about boundaries and social interaction there. The next 25 years have been about practicing those spiritual principles in every area of my life.
Fortunately for me, I also get to teach it in groups both large and small. It is a great thing to be able to teach the things I most want and need to learn. Otherwise, so many people just don’t get it.