HONESTY MONTH: DAY 13: “Once your soul is awakened, you never return to the sleepwalking state of mind. Some people become complacent in life. They are just going through the motions and not aware of truth. Seek the knowledge, wisdom, and the understandings that vivify your existence.”― Amaka Imani Nkosazana
There is a wonderful feeling of being alive when some form of awakening occurs. I can always see it in the eyes or hear it in the voice of kindred spirits who have had some insight and awareness. What a tremendous gift!
I did not expect that it would really happen in my life. Did not even dare to hope. I truly believed it would be just the cessation of drugs and alcohol that I could hope for. The rest seemed too “woo-woo” for me to achieve. I had been studying for many years before I ever got here, and did not understand those who had achieved great insight and awareness. How did it happen?
I practiced meditation for many years before I got here. I practiced for long periods without drugs and for periods on drugs. It was intense of some psychedelics, but I could not sustain the insights that came. I was searching for the spiritual way before I was searching for relief from addiction.
Some addicts are like that. Others are just trying to veg out. They will never do the intense work required to actually achieve something other than abstinence. They are in the majority. They go from one quick fix to another throughout their recovery, never reaching that space of awakening and awareness. That, I believe, is what the author of this quote is speaking about. Just sleepwalking. Doing enough to take the intense heat off and then cruising till the next upset.
I am grateful for the drive I have in me for more than just putting a finger in the dike. I want the whole enchilada of spiritual experience and have found the keys that fit for me. What a tremendous gift. I am always and forever grateful.