HONESTY MONTH: DAY 15: “Who you are in public is a test of your conviction; who you are in private, integrity.”― Criss Jami
I always giggle to myself when April 15 comes up. Honesty on tax day? Yeah, right! I worked doing accounting for many years. Very few people, and I include those I know of in recovery, are completely and thoroughly honest in that arena.
And yet, I maintain that Honesty is a pure concept. While some opinions, ideas, concepts may be subjectively applied (honesty, too); there is a purity to honesty that can be maintained and practiced. And we all strive for that ideal.
We all have darker shadow sides of our personality and in our lives. We all want to shine the light on our public self, who is never judgmental, mean, prejudiced, etc. But none of us can be that completely. It is not possible. However, we can strive for more authenticity and to be less dishonest. That is the goal.
Step 4 is about OUR side of the street. It is about becoming integral as we continue to expand on this principle in our lives. Most folks go deeper into the opposite direction. They find out what they can “get away with” and still not drink or use drugs. They keep testing that to see what they can do in private that won’t cost them too dearly in the conscience department.
And the more convoluted their lives become, the closer they are to the person they walked in being, without the drugs and alcohol, to be sure; but void of any spiritual connection. This is what I witness more and more as time goes on. I watch people. It is my way. It informs my path well. What comes to them is not what I am looking to manifest in my life. So I must avoid those pitfalls. I am well informed by others most of the time.
When I see myself in that light, I shift myself into a direction that feels more connected to my spirit. This is like sailing, each tiny burst of wind, or lack thereof, requires that I adjust my sails to get where I want to go. And so it is. And so I do. I love this stuff!