April 7

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 7: “The easiest way to gain someone’s trust is to deserve it. This should be pretty easy, assuming you’re just being you and being real. Minimal effort too.”― Ashly Lorenzana

Earning things, like trust, like respect, etc. is a little-known concept in Western culture. Immature ideas around having others grant us these things is more common.

We have so many things that are expected for us in an Ego-based social environment. Like I have to give you respect when you don’t deserve it, like I have to give you trust when you exhibit no sign of having to earn it. Parents do not instill these qualities in their children by making them work for them. They placate them with money and entitlement to offset their poor parenting and absence. It is easy to buy a child with gifts and privileges they have done nothing to earn.

However, the burden on the social environment then is to teach these people the values they were not taught at home. Teaching them is not something that you tell them, but something that you SHOW them.

Many folks are taught to play games and pretend to get what they want, cheating and manipulating their way through life. They are angry and bitter, because at the core of all humanity is the real desire for the kind of love that has boundaries and discipline attached.

What breaks these children is the constant need for those boundaries and values and the discipline to have them imposed. Too often that comes from another broken social system, the judiciary, who end up dealing with the poorly supervised ones who never hear no or have not been taught to earn what they want by their own work. It is invaluable to instill these principles in those who have none. The work we do to recover from these broken circumstances cannot be left undone.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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