FAITH MONTH: DAY 21: “Back of every creation, supporting it like an arch, is faith. Enthusiasm is nothing: It comes and goes. But if one believes, then miracles occur.”― Henry Miller
I am blessed. I have great enthusiasm and great faith. Not always the case. I do not know what keeps us going when we are active in addiction. Ego plays the largest part, I know, but there is some hope or faith that keeps us moving on and on.
I often say that addicts are “misguided optimists”. Despite a tremendous amount of evidence to the contrary, we keep using and drinking. It has long since stopped working for us. In my case, I can honestly say that the feeling I got the first time I tried some of my favorite drugs only occurred once or twice. It was some kind of deluded optimism that kept me doing it again and again, ad nauseum, believing it would feel like that again. It never did.
And yet we persist, don’t we? And we will look at every aspect of our lives as being the problem, except what is truly the problem. Only explanation I can think of is Ego and its ability to flourish under active addiction. The minute we threaten Ego with being powerless or letting God run the show, it starts screaming and never stops again, unless we return to active using and drinking. Interesting dynamic. We are very creative like that, aren’t we?
And I love this quote. “…if one believes, then miracles occur.” Yep!