March 20

FAITH MONTH: DAY 20: “Surrender is the ultimate sign of strength and the foundation for a spiritual life. It affirms that we are no longer willing to live in pain. It expresses a deep desire to transcend our struggles and transform our negative emotions. It commands a life beyond our egos, beyond that part of ourselves that is continually reminding us that we are separate, different and alone. It’s an act of faith. It’s saying that even though I can’t see where this river is flowing, I trust it will take me in the right direction.”― Debbie Ford

I do not believe I am, of myself, capable of surrendering anything. It would have been done way ahead of when it happened if I could. I can throw in the towel, as it were, but I believe that I get surrendered, time after time, by the circumstances that are no longer working in my life.

Until that happens, I may long for the ability to surrender, to give up, to give in, whatever you want to call it. But I do not have it within ME to do it on my own.

Drugs and alcohol surrendered me to this thing. I could not stop, nor could I just give up. Doesn’t work that way for me. And watching all the many thousands of addicts I have worked with in treatment, recovery settings, and in the program, I have not seen anyone capable of surrendering anything. It is a misuse of the word to suggest that we can.

But to allow it to remain in effect in our lives is something I have to pray for. When I am fighting a situation in my life, I know it is necessary to let go and let God, as we used to say. But I am not always able to just do that. I pray for that to happen. For me, that act of recognition that I am not capable of myself, to do anything about life without help, is the recognition that I must allow that Power to do what it will in me and through me and with me. That is as close as I can get. It has been enough so far.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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