January 15

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 15: “But with trust we can strive to accept even what we cannot understand.”― Christopher Ryan

Isn’t this the trouble with Step 1? We only trust Ego when we get into this thing. It has been our only resource for information on how to navigate life, along with our dysfunctional social training through family, school, media, and religious dogma.

All of that is faulty, but hard to break away from when we see the magnitude of followers and believers in all of it.

I get it. I went through this too. We rely on what is familiar, even when it has thoroughly kicked our ass. To stop trying to control our lives and “figure it all out” as we love to do is a great challenge. However, if we have not seen the result, we are going to go right back to “same shit, different day.” I know personally 100s of people who are doing this without using or drinking. Believing that this is as good as it gets. They are suffering from heart diseases, diabetes, all kind of health conditions and troubles, because they cannot contain in their bodies the dysfunction of Ego vs. Spirit/Heart/Soul. And they have not let go of any of it.

This trust thing is pretty absolute. I cannot turn over control and reins of only parts of my life, which is all about that trust. The BB says that “God either is or is not…which is it to be?” Either I let the Universal Power have say in ALL my life and affairs (which includes my way of thinking) or I run the show myself, into the ground. And pay all the prices for that.

This is the difference between real recovery and just being dry…hanging onto running things with teeth and toenails is NOT recovery. Yikes! And yet, so many persist in being that kind of dysfunctional and unhappy. I remember going to my first training in working with codependency. The trainer taught us that 5 times more codependents would die than addicts. This IS the dysfunction. And they die about 90% of the time from heart diseases (dysfunction), diabetes (dysfunction), cancers (dysfunction), with damage to not only vital organs, but back trouble, and all the long laundry list of stress-related disorders, accumulating piles of medications along the way and incurring billions upon billions of healthcare debt.

And yet, knowing the road to recovery, so few will ever walk it. That is the nature of our dysfunctional culture. It is emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual, and then physical. The cure is the same; we have the tools. I am grateful to know how to use them more and more every day. Trusting…trusting…trusting.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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