December 9

LOVE MONTH: DAY 9: “It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”― Mother Theresa

At this time of year, people go a bit crazy with spending and gifting. It is a problem when they spend more than they have to make an impact on others with their gifting. The ads on TV and other media are geared to show that love is something we have to buy with presents, not presence.

The most wonderful gifts are sometimes those that are not expensive, but rather take time and thought by the giver. These mean the most. In recovery, we are given so much of others’ time and thought. We talk to our sponsors and other members at length and they offer sound advice or counsel on how to navigate recovery. This gift has no price tag. It is wonderful to receive, and also to give.

Connection with others is not for sale. When we connect with another person, we feel heard and seen and valid. Those who have broken connections early in life are very easy to spot. They work SO hard for attention. This can become annoying when they are all in a meeting together…hahaha…but not really that funny.

Giving someone your undivided attention can be such a tremendous gift to them. I truly believe that AA and other 12-step programs found the key to this and passed it on to other healing modalities. The therapeutic value of attention to another person is without parallel. We relate to another by listening and it validates both the listener and the speaker. True connection!

The world is dying because we lack true connection. If it is the real gift of our recovery, we are missing out, especially in online meetings, by not being completely present to those who need this connection desperately.

Perhaps it is something we can all write down on our holiday list to give to others. Our presence more and presents less.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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