December 8

LOVE MONTH: DAY 8: ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”― Margery Williams Bianco

I love this book! I used to read it every couple of months, just because it is so sweet. There was a movie made, but it did not resonate with me the way the book did. I am a reader, I guess.

The idea that we are “real” when we are loved is so powerful. I am not sure it is a healthy way to view life, but it is powerful. I believe it is more accurate to know that we are “real” when we can begin to love ourselves.

Step 12 is all about having had that spiritual awakening. If we have done our work well, we will begin to allow ourselves to unconditionally love and accept ourselves. Without conditions. That is a challenge. Until we do this, we are not able to offer any kind of healthy love to anyone else, nor can we receive their love, no matter how strong it may be.

We will always believe that we are conning them into loving us somehow. Loving ourselves opens the door to that spiritual experience of a Higher Power. We will love the Power that resides inside us and with us as well. It is all one piece.

Then we get to be “real.” It is not about being loved and accepted by the world. It is being “real” enough to be loved and accepted by ME and not needing that from anyone else that makes me REAL. Yeah, and my hair has been loved off and my eyes are not great, and I am loose in the joints and raggedy from age and a life lived very well. Isn’t that wonderful?

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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