December 10

LOVE MONTH: DAY 10: “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”― Elizabeth Gilbert

I remember my early days in recovery. I really enjoyed going to meetings and the fellowship, because I believed that everyone was as loving and kind as they appeared and shared themselves to be. It is a great idea. I have found it to be much less “real” than I believed at first.

We have common bonds, and there is a great deal of connection when we share, but there is less a fellowship of love than we would like to believe.

My experience is that most recovering people are very self-centered and selfish, very deep into Ego for a great many years. The best we can hope for in these rooms is to be allowed to be who we are as WE get better. The “fellowship” may never recover, but individuals do.

What I have also found is that the more I recover, the less I need that common bond with great numbers of people. Instead, as a sponsor told me many long years ago, I have found my tribe, which is much smaller than I thought.

My first recovery community was in a group of hundreds of recovering addicts. I was sad when I moved away and lost track of most of them. There was a small handful that I connected with and stayed connected. That is what happens when I move from a group. Now, after having moved quite a few times to places far from the groups I have joined, the numbers of people in my tribe are fewer all the time. I may connect with people in meetings, but REAL connection happens outside the meetings, for me. These are MY tribe. They are small in number, but big in connection and love. We can truly love each other unconditionally and with no agendas. What a great thing that is!

And the acceptance and love we share IS miraculous…it is the miraculous aspect of what Step 12 talks about. I LOVE THAT!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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