October 27

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 27: “Some people plan on being disciplined as soon as they achieve something that cannot be achieved without discipline.”― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Yes! I remember always thinking that I would stop using drugs and alcohol when my life was “more together.” Really…what a sad thing to come to find out that it was the drugs and alcohol and the attitude and beliefs I had around them that were wrecking my life in the first place.

Addiction is not the culprit; it is the outcome of what I believe about life and myself and my place in it. Addiction may be arrested by not using or drinking, but the REAL problems begin then. Clancy I. wrote a perfect description of addiction (alcoholism in this particular case) in the forward of the book “A New Pair of Glasses, which is still my go-to favorite for recovery.

So, you see, one part of our dysfunctional way of being in the world sees drugs and alcohol as a solution to life, when in fact, they are a dysfunctional and misguided coping mechanism that keeps us from actually dealing with life. They are just a mask for our situations, those especially created by our inappropriate beliefs and old ideas. This goes into cultural beliefs and attitudes; and is where they came to us from originally. But they don’t work. Never have, never will. The origin is not the problem. Our insistence on them being the solution is, along with our belief that they truly serve us in any fashion.

And they cycle goes on until we see that we are completely wrong. COMPLETELY WRONG.

No matter how smart we are, we continue to use inappropriate mechanisms for coping with life and it kicks our asses. This goes way beyond drug and alcohol use and abuse. I see it often. Someone is working to do something that will bring them pleasure and cannot let go of the situation, trying to manipulate and control it; and then they lose all joy in the project because they are too caught up in the outcome to just let things BE. I can give a number of examples, but they are personal to others who sometimes get upset when I include their “stuff” in my writings.

We must learn to stop doing the same old thing, expecting different results. If I cannot control and manipulate people, places, or things to get the outcome I want; what use is it to do it in a new undertaking  and pretending it is something else? Using social acceptance for that action is not evidence that it will work. Social acceptance is truly the problem, not the solution. There is NO GOD in controlling and manipulating anything. We must know this to the marrow of our bones. It is a fear response. All Ego…ALL EGO…ALL EGO. Another form of discipline is to look in the mirror when we are in pain and see the crazy looking back at us. I love that!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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