April 10

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 10: “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”― Steve Maraboli

So, in Step 4, we are looking at all the things and people and places and situations that have pissed us off. Initially, almost every inventory I have seen with new members is literally a shit list. Not much connection to our part or what we might have done to initiate the trouble.

How fun it is to work through this tangled mess with a newcomer. They are so righteous…aren’t we all until we see that we are the ones who cause all of our own problems? Seems so much easier to blame and keep others hanging on the noose so we can remain victims.

The only problem is this: Until we truly ACCEPT our part, our responsibility, we are just going to circle the drain with this. Victims are the MOST pissed-off people on the planet. SO angry! And so in denial about it all.

An important concept that we must address: Acceptance is NOT the same as resignation. Look around. There are a LOT of great examples of people who are not accepting what is going on in the world right now. They are bitter, angry, whining, and defiant of what we are being asked to do for our own and others’ protection. That is resignation. Look at that word. Has nothing to do with acceptance. Very important distinction, because until we truly ACCEPT life as it is going on, we are doomed to being bitter and resentful. Same with our responsibilities for what has happened in our lives.

So even if we don’t truly forgive life, we must accept it. That is the way to end these resentments and ongoing problems and get on with life today.

It really is not as complicated as we try to make it. Monkeys are in the mix with that one, to be sure!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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