January 1

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 1: “The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don’t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.”― Chuck Palahniuk

Resistance is not acceptance. We resist in many ways; denial is when we try to change things for any reason we may tell ourselves. The real reason is simple…we don’t like something because it is not convenient for us and does not match our ideas about how life “should be.” Like we know.

Ego tells us we DO know. We know what is best for everyone, including ourselves. If I had a penny for every thought of how I would change things for the better that did NOT work out, I would be very wealthy indeed. What I am instead is wiser.

Most of my acceptances have been wrought into me by brutal and utter defeat. Just like Step 1, I had to GET surrendered because I insist on going all the way down with my ideas of what life SHOULD be like. It applies in every area and aspect of my being and my life.

It would be so great if we would eventually learn to accept life and people and situations for being just perfect the way they are. But, this is a very, very, very long process. One that Ego refuses to let go of in a year, or 10 years, or 20 years, or even 30 years (for me, so far!) Yikes!

In some areas, I can practice absolute acceptance. In others, I am still beating my head against the wall and wondering why I have headaches! Hahahahaha!

I cannot run, there is no escape. And, as this wonderful quote states, fighting only makes it stronger. This really is true with people. Had this conversation this morning. I have to learn to accept and love them as they are and move forward from that premise.

I think it is hilarious when I continue to write the script that starts with…”If only ____________ would change, I would be so much happier.” It is always a BS story that I engage in. There are about 50,000 words I can put into that blank. And I BELIEVE it! I really do!! I always have. Then there is another story 5 minutes later, same sentence, different thing I am trying to change. Ugh!

So, I can only change my clothes or my attitude. Best if I change my attitude. Less laundry. Less drama. I like having more time in my life when I stop the storyline that begins with “if only…”. Happy New Year!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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