December 29

LOVE MONTH: DAY 29: “For my part, I prefer my heart to be broken. It is so lovely, dawn-kaleidoscopic within the crack.”― D.H. Lawrence

There is no way to love without breaking (open) the heart of the lover. We cannot open ourselves to others without the risk. We tell ourselves (Ego) that we can remain detached and close to someone at the same time, but that is more Screaming Purple Monkey (SPM) shit being thrown at us.

When we open to love, even a little bit, like petting a friend’s new puppy, we are going to feel a tug when we walk away. We know we must, because it is not our puppy, we may not even want or think of wanting a puppy, etc.; but the tug is real. We are grown up enough to have the discipline of knowing that the puppy will not make us happier. We just accept that the feeling is one of opening.

I open my heart every day to the wonders of Nature. I fall in love with the ocean…every single time I see it or hear it when I go outside. I fall in love with trees and birds and flowers and the forests of oaks all around me. I fall in love with every single hawk, owl, eagle, tern, osprey, hummingbird, egret, heron, and any bird that flies overhead while I walk outside or work in my garden. Many of them are in my yard feeding or perched in trees around my property. Fabulous! So much love.

And I feel that tug of my heart breaking just a bit when I see these things…all of them! Most of us have felt this and do not register that we are opening more every time we pay attention to beauty and joy and incredible gifts from the Universe.

So, that is what a broken heart is all about. Not that we expect things to stay forever, that would be silly. But that every beautiful sunset or sunrise or bird flying overhead is passing. That every puppy or baby or man or woman is terminal. They will all leave, eventually…that is the way of life. Terminal and temporary. Everything ends, but we can learn to open and allow the breaking of the heart.

To live without that is to be dead and lifeless while here. Not present, not loving. Just vegetating without connection to life. I lived like that…Zombie life. Ugh! It was more painful than any kind of love I had ever experienced passing. Dead…and still having to walk on the planet without a soul.

Loving opens our heart and breaks it a million times a day if we do it right. We fall back in love with our lives, our world, ourselves and everything we come into contact with. We never fall out of love with those things. It is not possible. Once the heart is open, that person, place, thing, whatever is there forever. We may have a different story around it, but we don’t love it any less. The belief that we do is just more (SPM) shit flying around. Love is eternal and the very substance of what life is given us to do.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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