October 25

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 25: “Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”― Abraham Joshua Heschel

Although I love it when I practice some discipline, there are times when I get the F— Its just like everyone else. But, the more I practice, the better I feel, and so am then motivated to remain more and more disciplined.

This, for me, is one of the spiritual principles I will have to continuously practice, at least so far. I have not, nor will I ever, master this one. I get to a good place with it, then want to sabotage myself with some kind of bad behavior that erases at least part of the good I have done for myself. This is primarily what I see with diet and exercise and other self-care behaviors.

It can also apply to spending or things where I don’t have a strong discipline in place. It just depends on how I am feeling and what is going on in my life. I know that I “fix” behind food and spending. These are the two that remain the most at this time. In the past, it was something other than these two. But these are here and a constant issue for me to acknowledge and work through.

I am okay with these things today. I have done nothing to harm myself or others. I just see how I “check-out” with some behaviors more than others. The patterns are there and long-term deeply established in my life.

I believe we get to a place in life where we see our self-respect and self-acceptance. I am not shooting for perfection, because that would be a setup for disappointment. I am honest in my assessments of how I am doing and what I am up to. I have a good support network that tells me when I am off the beam and going in the wrong direction. I am grateful that I do not rely on myself only with this. I want to hold myself accountable.

The daily routines and practices that have been established for many, many years are good ways for me to check in with myself and see where I am off track with behaviors, fear, attitude, resentment, etc. These are always the triggers for renewal of addictive patterns.

I work hard to keep this balance thing going. Some days are amazing. Others are just okay. And, once in a while, it is all a crap shoot. Life is going to be like that…forever…and I get it. So, today, I will show myself some respect and work to maintain what I have obtained in a healthy, happy way for myself.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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