October 26

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 26: “One painful duty fulfilled makes the next plainer and easier.”― Helen Keller

When we can recognize how much we put into these steps, the huge amounts of “story” we have around it being “hard” or “challenging” or “difficult”, we are on the way to letting go of that. Pain only comes from our resistance to life. And so, if something is painful, it is due to our resistance and determination to get it our way.

I was in a meeting last evening, a service meeting inside a facility; where a woman was sharing her “pain” at a battle she has been having for over 60 years with her sister and her mother. She is so unhappy that she cannot win and get them to see her view. Yikes!

We do this all the time. We are so insistent on being right and unable to see that most of the time, there is no “win” in the situation, just a complete surrender we must make to accepting ALL of it the way it is. I loved that lesson!

When we just let go of our stories around things and do what is in front of us, no matter what we believe about it or how we feel about it, we are going to have beautiful results every time. Our hearts will tell us what is right, but NEVER our Egos. Never. Never, ever.

And so, it is that kind of letting go of story that we must fight to do, in every situation, every day. If something is causing us pain, it is not due to the situation, but our views on it. Our insistence on being right and getting our way. Ugh! I hate that feeling!

Yesterday I got to spend an entire afternoon cleaning up a mess with my healthcare providers and a 3rd party billing situation. None of this was my mess, but I was being held responsible for someone else’s screwup. I hate that too! So, I got to use my best diplomacy, which is never going to be my long suit, but I was kind and considerate and listened without interrupting or yelling. Wow! There is hope for me yet!

So now I know I can do that. And then, later on, I got this woman’s story to listen to and I got it! We just have to do life. With grace because we are graced to be able to have these tools. Okay!

And it feels so much better to clear up these messes, rather than fighting for the win. OMG! I don’t need to beat people up to get my needs met. I know it is not their job to do this, but I was inclined for a very long time to think I had to fight to “get ‘er done” kind of thing. Ya know? So happy for this process, where I write something and learn it that day. Paying attention is also the key here. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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