October 10

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 10: “Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage.”― Thucydides

We cannot live an undisciplined life, having no consequences for our attitudes and beliefs and behaviors and have any kind of self-esteem or self-respect. It is common in recovery and when working in therapeutic settings that people believe themselves to be depressed.

Quite often, there is nothing about them that is truly depressed. The term is so abused and overused, inappropriately, in our culture, because it is easier than working through the things that are truly going on. Most of the time, it is our entitlement that makes us believe we are depressed. We don’t like the way our life is going and want constant, instant gratification for doing little or nothing to add to the world. We are all about the taking. And believing that we are “due” something for any effort we do put out.

That is not depression, it is disappointment. It is also disappointment when we fail at what we thought we were supposed to achieve in some arena. It is also disappointment when life happens, and we don’t have appropriate, adult coping skills because we never learned them. It is also disappointment when we don’t get what we want, or when life takes a turn we did not prepare for or see coming. Yup! None of these are depression. NONE!

And yet, medical science will give us pills all day long for a condition that does not exist. Quite often, we are living in Ego and contributing to our own sense of fatigue and sadness by not doing anything that gives us a healthy sense of wellbeing and self-worth. Duh!

Most of the culture around us is dis-satisfied with their lives. They are overweight and go from one diet to another, without really learning about what their body needs and requires health-wise. We are dying from overeating, because we are not willing to do the work that makes us healthier physically. We are dying from cancers, diabetes and stress-related conditions that are 100% caused by poor life choices. We would rather take a shitload of extremely expensive medications than take responsibility for doing things that make the meds unnecessary.

We have NO discipline, no boundaries, no ethical attachment to truly being in charge of our own wellbeing. This is insane and truly disgusting. The laziness and entitlement of these conditions is all about the nature of addiction in the first place. Absolute dependence on others and outside influences to make my life okay. Yup! That ain’t any kind of recovery that leads to self-respect at all. Looks like the same disease to me.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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