FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 21: “Freedom comes from diving deeply within and knowing who you truly are.” ― Amy Leigh Mercree
When I process through Step 4 and see how my view of things is distorted by my extreme self-centeredness, I get to see how there are truly no wrongs done to me. What others may do in my life is to be wholly who they are. Their behaviors and the impact on my life is none of my business.
How I feel about that may become the problem I am here to clean up. When I view these acts through the lens of Ego/self, I am going to believe people did these things solely TO me. That is not the case. They did these things, period.
Now I am in a dilemma of what to do with these feelings. I must look at what I believe about these things and that will tell me why I feel the way I do. All of that anger and pain can be transformed and let go when I see that what anyone else does in this world is about their journey, not mine. I can move from being full of rage and anger to seeing how those things have helped me heal in some way.
Now I know who and what I am. That is the key here. I am free from the anger, the resentment, the rage, shame, whatever. And I can clean up my stuff with people because I have no more attachment to them and what they did or did not do.
It is only my expectations around what I want from them that makes me angry anyway. I think they SHOULD have been someone else. They cannot be. They are who they are, doing what they do. For me to impose MY will onto them is the problem, not the solution.
I kept creating further problems in so many of my relationships. That does not and cannot work. Today I get to either accept people for who they are or walk away. I walk away a lot more. It is perfectly fine for me. That is the freedom I had been craving all my life. I am okay with you not liking me, but I am doomed when I don’t like me. And I did not like myself when I pandered and begged or fought your way of being to make it work for me. What a gift this whole thing is!