September 10

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 10: “Doing what you love is freedom. Loving what you do is happiness.” ― Lana Del Rey

We all have this freedom, but we must understand one concept. Freedom means that we must let go of all old ideas to have it.

I cannot be free in my life if I believe that I have to hang on to a job, a mate, family, friends, etc. in order to “be okay.” The idea that these are necessary (or ever were) to give me happiness, is what kills us. We resent and hate those things that we see as “necessary” anchors in our lives. We drown in that anchoring. And we are never happy as long as we believe we MUST have these things, no matter the cost.

Whether we do these things out of guilt, shame, fear (and there are about 20 major fears that keep us anchored!), or obligation, we are never free.

That is why Step 9 is so important. I get to view how I believe these relationships feed my life, my spirit, my path. If they do not, I have to let them go. This has been a process of release, time after time, that seemed impossible at first. I believed I was doomed to a life of hell if I let go of my ideas about relationships with agencies, bosses, jobs, significant others, family, etc. All of it.

Today I hold them in a VERY loose hand, instead of the fearful fist that used to be. I thought I had to do so many things in these relationships, based on VERY old ideas. Unlearning that shit has given me the most amazing freedom I have ever known. Way beyond what I could have ever imagined.

All of my amends were around what I believed I had to do and be to keep relationships that I was afraid or guilty about losing. Thank God I got to let them go and see what happened. Most of them left. But I did not die or starve or go crazy or any of it. I thrived in new ones, over and over and over again.

None of what I truly treasure today was possible with those relationships in place.

I am so grateful that the pain of hanging on to old ideas becomes so f—ing painful that I HAD to let it all go. Most people never will. I see their deep dissatisfaction with life and others around them. And they truly believe it is about those others. Because they are either too lazy or too afraid to let it all go. I get it, but I am SO grateful I got it this way now. FREE!!!!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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