September 9

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 9: “A liberated person abdicates from society’s expectations and embraces living an authentic life undeterred by external determinates.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster

The freedom we get when we clean up these issues with others is so powerful. I have eliminated all sense of hating to run into people with whom I have bad blood or hurt feelings or to whom I have neglected to clean up my shit.

There are people around this world with whom I do not care to spend time, but I am not uncomfortable in their company, should it be required. And I do not force myself to be phony or nicey-nice to those I do not care for.

And, conversely, I do not harbor grudges or ill will toward those who have done things I do not care for. I just accept that they have different values than I do. And I let them be. I give them a long leash, because I do not want them in my inner circle, or even my outer circle. So I keep them at arms’ length and that is okay with me.

This is FREEDOM! I have no axes to grind, nor do I give cause to others for them to dislike me. I do have strong boundaries and good articulation of what I will and will not allow in my life. This may create friction for those with an opposing agenda, but that is not my issue.

And I will always be a HUGE fan of the idea that comes from “A Course in Miracles” that it is NONE of my business what others think of me. I have no attachment to anyone else’s opinions. And will not listen to them unless I ask.

Keeping bridges open with those with whom I choose to be intimate and close is such a great body of work. It has taken me a lifetime to accumulate the formulas for the relationships I cherish. And it is through teaching it that I have grown and developed these formulas. The basis is always mutual respect and honesty. I have no room in my personal life for liars and those who steal my time (MY LIFE!) from me or disrespect my personal ethos.

This has happened at times when I was unwilling to see the person for who they are. I had to own my own part in these times. And then it is over, and it is over for good. What comes then is an opening where other, more authentic relationships are nurtured and allowed. How cool is that? No loss is permanent. No ending of one thing ever leaves a hole for more than a minute in my life. I love it!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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