June 29

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 29: “Selflessness is humility. … humility and freedom go hand in hand. Only a humble person can be free.” ― Jeff Wilson

When we allow others to be who they are, that is selflessness. We acknowledge their ideas, their sense of self, and honor them as they are.

So many addicts must impose their values and beliefs on others that it is hard to be around them for any amount of time. They are unable to accept honest differences or brush them off in arrogant fashion.

That is how fearful we can be. Long into recovery, it is interesting to watch how many of us cannot allow another opinion or way of doing things to exist.

We promote our agendas and want others to adopt them. This is not humility. It is the opposite. We are learning here, in these steps, to become open and humble enough to be teachable.

It can be frustrating and challenging to work with those who refuse to allow any ideas to break through their walls of defense. It is also challenging to not be in that mindset.

We learn at our own pace, and others are sometimes much greater teachers than we can be. What is a beautiful aspect of this thing is that some of our own sponsees and friends may learn from someone other than us the same lessons we are attempting to assist them with. This happens all the time to parents whose children suddenly grasp something they were unable to communicate to them.

That is why we have to allow everyone to grow and learn at the rate and level they best can. It may not be that we are here to teach them these things. There are others with whom we can work and teach. It will not always be us from whom those closest to us will learn.

So, we walk on to the next person and the next lesson. It will often happen that there is more to learn, and it can happen differently with the next person we encounter. I love that!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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