June 19

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 19: “Many times when we help we do not really serve. . . . Serving is also different from fixing. One of the pioneers of the Human Potential Movement, Abraham Maslow, said, “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.’ Seeing yourself as a fixer may cause you to see brokenness everywhere, to sit in judgment of life itself. When we fix others, we may not see their hidden wholeness or trust the integrity of the life in them. Fixers trust their own expertise. When we serve, we see the unborn wholeness in others; we collaborate with it and strengthen it. Others may then be able to see their wholeness for themselves for the first time.” ― Rachel Remen

This is a new quote for me. I love it! Because she speaks about the things I get to do in my life. We are so geared, when living from Ego and its inherently fearful message, to dwell in the negative aspects of others, and ourselves.

I am having an astonishing opening up going on recently…still there. And what continues to come in that space is to dwell in and thrive on those amazing traits of the people who are placed in front of me. To open myself to their beauty and love and kindness and generosity and to focus on those things instead of why and how they frighten me.

I lived a day fully in fear recently and wanted to run away ALL DAY! Ugh! And I got to see that when I hold myself in the middle of fear and don’t act on it…gulp!-I get to explore and feel it and it becomes less a monster and more a friend. And then I have not exploded some aspect of my life by believing it was true.

What if we all focused on the beauty of life instead of its terrors? What if we serve each other by mirroring  and loving and shining the light on those aspects of each other that are lovely and bring us joy. What if?

I can beat myself up so well  and then blame others for it. I do it all the time…and today I want to love me and love you and just let all the petty shit go. I am a healer, because that is what I came here to be. I must begin with Kelly and then I can extend that out to you. I felt very broken this week and worked through that rather quickly. I am not broken. And I am tired of using that old hammer on me and then on you and wondering why nothing feels good…and, of course, there is nothing I can fix with a hammer anyway. That is not how it works. We all have what we need to heal our own wounds, our own ways of needing to heal.

The trick is to sit with each other as we do this. To hear and hold and love each other as we heal. It is the work we all came here to do. And so it is!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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