May 3

INTEGRITY MONTH: DAY 3: “You don’t have to walk on water, it’s how you walk on land.” ― Jason Crabb

We all walk…how we walk tells the world who we are. A lot of us have issues of no integrity when we get to recovery. We don’t know how to align who we are and how we live with what is in our hearts.

We have lost the skill set that allows us to live honestly and honorably with the values that mean something to us.

If we come from trauma and/or abuse, we are likely to be bullies, even though we don’t want to be that. It is from being bullied that bullies occur. We can learn to behave differently, but the default settings in our brains will continue to go to that place of darkness.

Being aware of this, we can learn to handle situations differently. We may learn how to care for others when we learn to care for ourselves. Self-care is the vehicle that I can recognize as to whether or not others are recovering or just talking about it.

If you treat yourself and your personal environment poorly, I can tell that you are not really doing this work. It is indicative of how we feel about ourselves.

I was taught to make my bed every day, no matter what. Running late, be a couple of minutes later by making your bed. I am not sure how I will respond if my home was burning or flooding, but I do know that I have never walked out of my home with an unmade bed. I keep my environment clean and myself clean.

These things speak of self-worth and self-care. We cannot value others or the world around us more than we value ourselves. Are we eating well and getting enough fresh air and exercise and water? Do we pay our bills before we buy that new I phone or dress?

These are the ways we walk in integrity. It is all about being a grown up. Are we being responsible, and do we do what we say we are going to do? Do we say we value something and then not take care of it? These are ways we know about integrity in our lives and in our personal world. They matter. To us. It is not about doing them because others will see it, but doing them because we live in alignment with what our hearts value. We become worthy then, and so does our behavior. I love that!

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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