April 25

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 25: “One of the few things in life that cannot possibly do harm in the end is the honest pursuit of the truth.” ― Peter Kreeft

The more I learn about myself and life, relationships and how we work in them, why we struggle, what my “old ideas” tell me and how that separates me from others and the world around me, the more I want to learn.

It is kind of self-propelled, this recovery business. At least it is for me. I have never waivered in my pursuit of healing and recovery. My determination to heal in all aspects of my life; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. I truly believe that not one can be done without the others.

This has shifted over the course of these many years. I am more likely to lose out on the physical aspects of life more often than the spiritual. It started out exactly the opposite. Keeping all four in balance has never been easy. Today I feel pretty comfortable emotionally, spiritually and mentally.  But physical
challenges are more likely to happen.

On occasion, I get to live inside some of my mental and emotional constructs more than I would like. This is easier to feel and shift than it ever was in the beginning. In fact, it is easier and easier, and time goes on.

And as I grow spiritually, I lose physical capabilities that are tiresome and sometimes difficult to learn to accommodate. All of us are undergoing this process, because time moves on. Being fit is not the issue. Being flexible emotionally as well as physically is. Flexibility allows for the changes of time to lose their import and impact as I age.

But the truth, always the goal, is that I accept each new shift and learn to live with it or work with it to become the new version of me I am being given to become. That is radical sometimes. There have been limitations and freedoms in the shift of balances in my life. I am free from the constant self-centered aspects of appearance and performance that dogged my younger years. I am limited by health issues that have cropped up.

Most of them are the products of my earlier lifestyle(s). Cumulative damage that I have worked very hard to mitigate, but which are present to varying degrees, nonetheless. No way I am getting out of this one unscathed or untouched by the choices of an earlier time. All the drugs and booze and cigarettes and sun and men and motorcycles, etc. Takes a toll on the aging process.

I eat really well, growing a lot of my own food, carefully crafting my meals, and have let go of all the rest of the behaviors. Most of the time because I hit some kind of bottom with them. So, I get to continue to grow and develop into healthier and more honest ways of being at one with the Universe and the Power I have grown dependent on and familiar with. What a great road it all is!

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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