April 24

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 24: “Whether you try too hard to fit in or you try too hard to stand out, it is of equal consequence: you exhaust your significance.” ― Criss Jami

Addicts have so many issues of insecurity and inadequacy. And can be very needy with time and attention from others. So, we can be quite uncomfortable with our own energy and with others. It is interesting to witness the ways in which we become too much or too little, in order to be comfortable. Social settings can turn us into energy vampires who take all the air out of the room with our giant inhalations of Ego. The same for those who are too quiet and try to shrink into the background.

These are all ways in which we are dishonest with others and ourselves. We are too big or too small. We do not always know how to be just ‘one of’ and join in comfortably.

All of this comes from Ego (Screaming Purple Monkeys-SPM), which tells us constantly that we are different, other than, apart from. Then we want to win our way in with dramas that play out in not being able to just be who we are. And we lose our identity and significance as this quote says. It also means that we lose any real role in the world around us, because we do not know how to be authentic with the rest of the world.

Our part in the world will be very small, but it can always be significant when we are authentically showing up. Not trying to run the show or change the world, but just serving in our own way in all that we do. It may mean a great deal to someone, or mean nothing to others, but we serve in the roles that are ours to participate in.

The most important part is to take our roles on and fulfill them in the best and highest way we can. In order to do that, we must always be authentic with ourselves and the world around us. We cannot be people pleasers or isolate, but play our roles as they unfold in our lives. There is always something we are here to do or be.

Finding your journey is a matter of being at peace within your own heart and soul. When we are able to find that place and dwell there comfortably, the SPM cannot shift our sense of direction and purpose. It does not matter who does or does not agree or like or accept it, WE become okay with our part and our roles. This is significant, because we do not exhaust ourselves or others in order to become who we truly are.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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