April 3

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 3: “The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do.” ― E. V. Lucas

What strikes me first about this statement is that whenever it was written, it was true. Even if he wrote this 500 years ago, it was true.

Life is truly risk free. There is only the certainty of death. Stuff WILL happen, it always has and always will. It is our relationship to Ego that tells us there is something horrible that will happen and demands that we prepare for it. We “gird our loins” and go to battle.

But is there really any battle at all? No. It is all convenient only to Ego so it can resolve all those “problems” we tell ourselves are out there. None of them exist. None of them.

But, I do agree that this is the truth that we must recognize and live with. That everything in the world is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Even if it were not, there is not a damned thing we can do about that. The delusion that we can master it somehow is the biggest lie of all. How many times are you going to let Ego tell you the story? Some people never stop.

They believe their illness, or their bank account, are problems they must resolve. Nope. None of them are up to us. We are most often the source of our problems. Most often. Because we listen when Ego tells us that this or that person is doing something TO us. They hurt us intentionally. Most often, they are completely unaware of it.

Step 4 inventories are not meant to be a shit list of everyone who ever “done you wrong.” They are meant to be looked at through the lens of why we believed what we did about that person and why we are dragging around a 20 or 30-year resentment about it.

Get over it already! Most of the time, they were only doing what they did to retaliate against something we did or said to them. We were the assholes in most cases. Even when we were not, what is the point in hanging on to all that shit?

Facing the truth is all about becoming a grownup and acting like one. Taking responsibility for your own shit and letting go of the hostages taken so you could keep being an asshole. That is ALL it is supposed to be. I have read and heard some of the biggest bullshit in the world around this thing. Let it go. Get the hell over it. So what?

We must have the courage to own our shit and move into life without the stories. They do NOT matter. If you are wondering why this step is so crucial, it is because there is nothing that is not perfect in your life. Nothing. It was there to fuel your drinking until it was time for you to grow up and act like a person, a real human being. Get on with THAT part now.

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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