April 2

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 2: “Keep a clear eye toward life’s end. Do not forget your purpose and destiny as God’s creature. What you are in his sight is what you are and nothing more. Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take nothing that you have received…but only what you have given; a full heart enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage.” ― Francis of Assisi

This is such a beautiful quote. If for no other purpose, St. Francis wrote beautifully. At least those pieces that are attributed to him are beautiful. Then there is his affinity to animals, which I totally love. He and St. Christopher have always been my favorites. And I had my head crammed full with saints, I can tell you.

This quote, though, gives me such peace. I really resonate with the idea that the Power to whom I turn my life and my will over to knows me. Without me having to reveal anything. It is known. Not only is it known, it is accepted and was all the journey I was sent here to have. My ability to navigate this journey is all about how I proceed; not whether or not I do.

The reason I find peace in this idea is because it takes all that crazy Ego shit right out of the picture. I am not condemned to Hell or rewarded for being a good girl with Heaven. Those concepts were not present in the eyes of St. Francis. His ideas of what this is all about are evident in his writings and prayers. I love that. It means that I can change. That I can re-think everything. And when I re-think everything; when I see the whole picture differently, I can shift my attitudes and behaviors accordingly.

This is the crux of Step 4. It is never about who did what and how pissed off I am. It is with the ideology that believes anyone can do anything to me. They cannot. Life occurs. Things happen. How I view those events is the story here.

And because I see the story through the lens of self-service, I am a victim of all of that. When I let go of that way of believing, I am no longer a victim, but just some random person who is there when others are living out their karmic path. OH!!! So, I am not a victim at all. I am the recipient of someone’s misguided energy.

So, now I can see how I am the one who carried that shit around (sometimes for decades!) and then was given the green light to let it all go and move into another space. WOW!!! And all I have to do is shift my perspective, then my perception. When I do that, I can heal. Until I do that, I cannot. So simple, really. It is the only purpose for Step 4. I only know a tiny few who get this and really get to live it. The rest, quite frankly, are still stuck. I am SO grateful for the shift in my perspective and therefor my life.

Because of this, the end time will be better. I have less anger and a great deal more gratitude and love to give. Honest service, love, sacrifice and courage. Beautifully said!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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