March 14

FAITH MONTH: DAY 14: “Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He can deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, and pour out peace.” ― Ezra Taft Benson

All true. But only when we turn it over completely. I did not get all of this at once. It was that I became more and more willing as time went on.

That led to me giving up more of myself…more control, more insecurity, more of my personality, more of all of it.

Increasing peace came with decreasing control. I let go of the damned stories…this took more than anything in lessening my Self. My image, my EGO, all the goodies.

Letting the Universal Power have all of me came in bits and pieces, forward progress and back sliding in huge arenas! Time is the essential ingredient. Being committed to my intention to BECOME the “Hole in the donut” as discussed in the 12×12.

Willing to be surrounded by nothing but the Love and Essence of that Power. To be nothing of Kelly. That willingness took so long to come and working through years of fear and circumstances and me taking control back and trying to run my life with self-will. It is a long and drawn out process. I do not know how others tell me they only worked these steps one time.

I hit my head and work through them all 4 to 9, over and over, because that peeling of the onion did not happen completely the first time.

I love this stuff. I love what has been removed for me, and what has come in its place. The process has turned me into somebody I love and cherish. That was not the way it once was. Even long into this deal, I was not crazy about me all the time. Now I am.

I dreamed of being this person, now I am. How cool is that? I have to be willing to keep turning things over. It all began with that first intention and first trip through this step, but it sure as shit did not end there. Thank You Power for creating me as tenacious as I am…it is a blessing!

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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