February 7

HOPE MONTH: DAY 7: “But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not being the most optimistic people around, addicts see everything in ways that are not best for spiritual upliftment.

First of all, we are exquisitely and horribly self-centered. That is a problem, because we don’t see life in the big picture. Only how we are affected and what we believe about it. Very self-centered, narrow and dark.

Secondly, we are, by nature, negatively biased about everything. We are really quite lazy, and that is why we don’t see opportunities, but only failures. As entitled and self-serving as we are, we want others to do it for us. That is why we see everything in a negative light.

If I convince you to do everything for me, then I am not going to receive great benefit, because I have no stake in the outcome. That further promotes negative feelings and outcomes. See?

All of this is reason for us to continue to spiral downward and get the “f… its.” We just don’t want to take responsibility for doing anything differently. Lazy.

So, we have to be inspired and motivated somehow. To get some kind of fire lit under our lazy asses. That is the real truth. We are not down-trodden and beat up. We are friggin’ lazy.

Coming into this thing, the idea that success can be ours if we do some work is a great thing. We may even start out well, at first. But we all see the huge proportion of people who don’t do anything after a little bit of work. We are so lazy that we will put out half-hearted attempts and then say how hard we are working at this thing. Really? I don’t see it.

One of the benefits of all the years of work I have done is to gather evidence around this. The real truth is that very little effort can pay off relatively well. BUT, it takes consistence, ongoing effort to get the real results. And only a tiny, tiny fraction of addicts are going to do that. Lazy and entitled.

Sitting around in meetings talking about how life is not giving them what they think they should be getting, just because they didn’t take a drink or drug. WTF????

You get what you put into life. It is an all-day, every-day, kind of gig. Consistent, repetitive, constant work to find the results. And even then, it ain’t gonna be your way. Your JOB is to fit yourself to be of maximum service to other addicts and the Universal Power that gave you a break when you were of absolutely no use to self or anyone else. You got NOTHING coming, because you put NOTHING good into the world.

And then, only then, do we have a message of hope to carry. Do the work, clean up your messes, take care of business in ways that are healthy and wholesome. And just give yourself away in service of some kind. In ways that are healthy and caring. Keep your passive-aggressive shit to a minimum. There is too much of that in the world already. If you are sitting in the dark, look up. There is a reason for it.

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Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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