January 19

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 19: “If God were our one and only desire we would not be so easily upset when our opinions do not find outside acceptance.” ― Thomas à Kempis

This is an important concept when we are talking about acceptance. In recovery, actually, in life; my focus must remain on the Power I am enlisting to help me stay drug and alcohol free. THAT is my only purpose.

And the really bitchen part is this…there is NOTHING I have to do to please that Power. I don’t have to get or be “good” to develop that conscious contact. That is just more monkey shit being thrown. I continue to do this work so that I carry the message of  LOVE that I have received. It doesn’t resonate if I still act like the asshole I came here being. We all know people who act completely different in meetings than the way they walk through the world.

When I am focused on Grace and Gratitude, I don’t care at all what Joe Blow thinks of me. I am totally Zen with life and me and all of it. BUT, the minute I let Joe Blow creep into my mind and find out he doesn’t love me to the bone….grrrrrrr…the fight is on.

So, I return again and again to the relationship I am developing with that Power. And I dump my shit, over and over and deeper and deeper in these steps. Then I am at peace with all of it, even Joe Blow. I truly think all these Joe Blows are a gift, because they keep me focused on the prize, the goal, the only thing that truly matters…my relationship with the Power.

See, for me, I know this. I remember it for a few minutes. And telling myself or hearing you tell me that the focus needs to be on the Power just doesn’t quite do it for me like the exquisite torment of Joe Blow’s low opinion of me and how I want to change his mind…dammit!

Do you see how much I am loved? I get Joe Blow every time…asshole just doesn’t quit. And that is perfect, because his message kicks my ass every time. Okay…so the point is this…my only purpose is to focus myself…all of me…on my relationship with the Power.

The rest of you are just witness to this. And you can try to remind me, but Joe Blow will always do the job a lot better than you. Grumble, grumble, grumble. And NOW, thank you Joe Blow for the message YOU carry…it matters too…grumble, grumble, grumble.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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