December 1

LOVE MONTH: DAY 1: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” ― Mother Teresa

Some of us are dedicated to isolation. We want to stay away from others because they touch off those parts of us that are, as yet, unhealed.

This can be painful or irritating, at best. We get annoyed and angry when others do what we do, and it reflects back to us in the mirror of our experience. I am not a great fan of this, but I know it to be true. So, I too, am apt to isolate away from people who teach me lessons I am not yet ready to embrace.

We all do this. It is the reason we feel what we do for others.

Some of us are going to have teachers come into our lives over and over, until we get the lesson they are here to teach. We just think they are assholes. I know I do.

However, it is about looking into that mirror and loving what we see and accepting those parts of US they show.

Ugh! And yet, it is when we do this that we gain peace. If I KNOW, deep in my heart, that I am the same kind of asshole you are, it is okay for both of us to exist on the planet together. I can accept myself and accept you as well.

This gives me a choice. I can either shift into a different way of being if I do not want to continue being that asshole or I can learn to live with it. I have found that, most of the time, it is a combination of the two.

I have had a hard time fighting against various types of oppression and entitlement in my life. It seems that some of the lesson was to choose to believe differently, and then there was the part where I learned to NOT allow that to be done to me by developing boundaries and standing up for myself, instead of always being a victim of certain attitudes and behaviors.

A dance of balance, as I see it. We are always learning new steps to this dance. And where ever we are in the process is perfect. BUT, never are we going to find healing in isolation and being apart from others. We are all made from the same heartbeat, so we cannot thrive in isolation.

There, too, we must strike the balance. To learn to love and learn to do so without drowning the other person is part of the gig here. If I am too dependent or independent, I am not in balance. I love this dance…the dance of love. And we DO belong to each other…made from the same heartbeat…I like this new phrase…just came to me in the paragraph before this. Woohoo!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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