DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 27: “Only those who never stand up, never fall down.” ― John Kavanagh
I don’t personally believe in mistakes any longer. After many, many years of reading and working into the maxims of Dr. Paul O., I have truly come to see that there is nothing in this Universe that happens in error or by mistake.
That is a beautiful thing. When I believed in mistakes, I first believed I was a mistake. Then I believed that I had been present to most of my life by mistake, because I did not understand how to generalize the concepts of God and Higher Power, etc.
Today, I understand that by generalizing, rather than personalizing, the concept of Universal Power, I am comfortable with all of it. It ain’t about me, nor am I evidence to the contrary about any of it. Oh! Talk about self-centered! Wow!
So, I am totally okay with being different than everyone else, I am totally okay with falling on my face in public forums, I am totally okay with my human-ness and not needing to please others. It is totally okay with me to be disliked, misunderstood, even not included in things I like to do with folks that I thought would invite me along.
That shit, right there, is so different! It was the basis of every time I twisted myself into pretzels for your good opinion of me and to be a part of whatever I thought I was missing out on. I no longer care or need to have any of it.
Thank goodness for that! I am free to walk the path I am here to walk, no matter what you or anyone else thinks about it. That is wonderful! I love the freedom and the discipline that kept me working and working and working on these things, no matter how many of you told me I could let up a bit. I could not, until I was free. Not just “not drinking or using drugs” but totally and completely free! And when I sometimes get caught up in needing the approval of others, usually men, I get to get back to freedom the same way I got to it the first time.
In these steps, over and over again. I don’t want to just be okay, I want to thrive! I want to sing and dance and LOVE my life…today I do, and I do and I do!