October 27

DISCIPLINE MONTH: DAY 27: “Only those who never stand up, never fall down.” ― John Kavanagh

I don’t personally believe in mistakes any longer. After many, many years of reading and working into the maxims of Dr. Paul O., I have truly come to see that there is nothing in this Universe that happens in error or by mistake.

That is a beautiful thing. When I believed in mistakes, I first believed I was a mistake. Then I believed that I had been present to most of my life by mistake, because I did not understand how to generalize the concepts of God and Higher Power, etc.

Today, I understand that by generalizing, rather than personalizing, the concept of Universal Power, I am comfortable with all of it. It ain’t about me, nor am I evidence to the contrary about any of it. Oh! Talk about self-centered! Wow!

So, I am totally okay with being different than everyone else, I am totally okay with falling on my face in public forums, I am totally okay with my human-ness and not needing to please others. It is totally okay with me to be disliked, misunderstood, even not included in things I like to do with folks that I thought would invite me along.

That shit, right there, is so different! It was the basis of every time I twisted myself into pretzels for your good opinion of me and to be a part of whatever I thought I was missing out on. I no longer care or need to have any of it.

Thank goodness for that! I am free to walk the path I am here to walk, no matter what you or anyone else thinks about it. That is wonderful! I love the freedom and the discipline that kept me working and working and working on these things, no matter how many of you told me I could let up a bit. I could not, until I was free. Not just “not drinking or using drugs” but totally and completely free! And when I sometimes get caught up in needing the approval of others, usually men, I get to get back to freedom the same way I got to it the first time.

In these steps, over and over again. I don’t want to just be okay, I want to thrive! I want to sing and dance and LOVE my life…today I do, and I do and I do!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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