January 7

ACCEPTANCE MONTH: DAY 7: “The moment that judgement stops through acceptance of what it is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.” ― Eckhart Tolle

It isn’t only addicts who fight against life. Today’s culture has that incredibly arrogant stance that we know what is going on and it does not meet with our approval. This is a terrible battle to fight.

I know I got very beat up in fighting systems and people and structures of government and poverty and drugs and war and so many things. While I do not have to approve of these things, I cannot get anywhere if I am fighting them.

It is only in acceptance of these conditions that I can create a peaceful shift in the dynamic. This is EXACTLY what happens in Step 1. Grasping, on a deep and total level, the absolute powerlessness of my situation is the only way I can make peace with this thing. When I make peace with it, I can begin to shift it into a new paradigm. I can begin to really recover.

I cannot fight addiction, yours, mine or anyone’s. That I have learned. Perhaps better than most, because this is the work of my lifetime. And it isn’t going anywhere. Our “War on Drugs” is not doing anything to stop addiction. That is never the way it works. It is just about as effective as “Just Say No.”

The battle weakens the warrior to the point where he gives up. That is how we surrender this thing. We get our asses totally kicked and we GET surrendered.
I have tried to let go and surrender in other arenas of my life since coming around here. I am not capable of surrender. I have learned that I must GET surrendered. This is another thing I have to accept. That is the frustration of everyone who is impacted by addiction. Their common question is always “Why can’t he/she stop?” “Why are they powerless?” We break a lot of hearts like this.

We cannot hang on to my ego and remain in acceptance. Ego tells me that it is the ONLY resource for making peace in the world. And it only knows that it MUST force others to my way of seeing things. This is not the case. We all get to the place of acceptance the same way. Smashing the damned ego! So, of course this is like a dog chasing his tail. He doesn’t know why it is the thing he wants to bite, and he doesn’t know why it hurts so much when he catches it!

We are compelled to sit in anguish and fear until we learn that what we THINK and BELIEVE are the driving forces of our anguish and fear. And that it is all an illusion, created by our own ego to keep us in anguish and fear. Crazy, huh?

I have laid, face down on the floor, in a pose of total submission, defeated and beaten half to death by this thing called life. I used every brilliant idea, every resource, everything I could find in books, online and all of it. And only in this pose of absolute devastation and retreat was I given the slightest response to my question “WHY???”

And do you know what the answer always is? BECAUSE. Because that is the way it is. Oh! Really? Well, I don’t like it. Tough shit, Cookie. It still IS. Wow!

Now, I can fight with that or I can get up off the floor and grow the hell up. So, then I have some hope. My liking or not liking life is not the key. The key is acceptance, as Dr. Paul so beautifully wrote. Oh! Okay, I got it. And I hope I hang onto it. But, like the rest of the Universe, that ego thing is still there. And so, every day, I ask for the Grace to Accept what life is all about today. Thank goodness it is only today I have to live. Okay. And the other steps help me to make this same kind of peace with what was and what may come. So happy to accept this gift every day, just for this day. It is good and righteous.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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