December 28

LOVE MONTH: DAY 28: “You know you have found love when you can’t find your way back.” — Robert Brault

Reading this today reminded me that a lot of people will relapse today. There will be a lot of relapse, because that is what happens here. What we need to remember is that there is nothing that will give us a “safe” seat here.

There is nothing that will give us a permanent release from this addiction thing. It is only today, based on the maintenance of a spiritual condition. And that is so fragile. So delicate, and yet so terribly taken for granted.

If we were to treat our recovery as the precious and tender thing it truly is, we would be well on our way to recognizing the impermanence of it. Yet, most of us walk around like we “got this” and are terribly inclined to actually say it out loud.

I hate it when people say, “You got this” to each other. How screwed are we when we “got this?” If it isn’t in the hands of some Universal Power, then it is not worth a damn. That is our lives, our recovery and everything else we hold precious and dear.

And, there is no way back to where we came from. We can try, but I have watched SO many people go in and out of this thing and never, ever reach the place where they left off when they got into these rooms. It ain’t that simple.

You are never going to be 22 again, either. Let it go! And understand that you will NEVER be able to use or drink like you could at 22 or 32 or even at 12. It ain’t gonna happen! Even if you could, that progression thing happens, whether you are drinking and using or not. Get it? This is a progressive illness. It ain’t over.

And the progression is still happening, no matter how recovered you may believe yourself to be. You are more of an addict today than yesterday. What this means is that we ALL must do more today than we have done yet. Today’s recovery takes more work than yesterday’s or the day before or the year before that.

This is the formula for relapse. And it starts WAY before that pill or booze shows up. It is the idea that we are in charge of doing this thing. Oh yeah! Love THAT thinking, don’t you?

So, if we cannot go back, we must go forward. With a desire to cherish our recovery like it is the most precious thing we have ever owned. When was the last time you rescued your recovery from the ash-heap of your thinking and life?

When we see a disaster of any kind, we watch people cling to those things that are very precious to them. Loved ones, pets, objects. And yet, we don’t cling to recovery like it is as precious, or more so, than all the rest. It is, and should always be, the first thing we think of.

Yet, most will not even consider that it is. Let’s do that.

Just today, remember the most important and precious thing in your life. Without it, even breathing is not going to be any good. We all know that, but, for some reason, it is the last thing we remember on almost any given day. Love, love, love…it is the gift of this thing, over and over and over again!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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