June 10

HUMILITY MONTH: DAY 10: “Humility, rather than involving the presence of certain thoughts or behaviors, might better be construed as the absence of narcissism, self-enhancement, or defensiveness.”― Christopher Peterson

Three very popular ego-defenses get removed. That is nice. It can happen for moments at a time, but in my case, never for longer than that. Another great description of what it would look like and feel like.

Recognition of my character defects, along with my assets, is what happens in Steps 4, 5, and 6. I get to see where I am in all arenas of my life. A truly humbling experience.

While most addicts have a long list of grievances and reasons why they are perpetually pissed off and spiteful, my reason for that is a simple word…”victim.” This is a popular and prevalent stance in our culture. We can justify, rationalize, and explain every one of these “righteous indignations” or we can see where our thinking is askew and get right-sized.

While there have been some terrible wrongs perpetuated in the world around us, and some of us have had those things done to them, it is in the healing of these things that we become free. To see them through the eyes of a survivor, rather than a victim, is the first step. To recognize the gifts in those things is the second. To learn to thank that person for their having been the instrument in us receiving these gifts is the third.

That is what these steps can give us when we are willing to let go of the chip on our shoulder and move into a healing space. Then, and only then, are we truly free. And then, and only then, can we learn to drop the use of all ego-defenses. The battle is over…and WE are the winners!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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