HONESTY MONTH: DAY 27: “The more honest you are, the more open, the less fear you will have, because there’s no anxiety about being exposed or revealed to others.”― Dalai Lama XIV
There were so many people I had to avoid in the past. And others who could not meet with new friends because I had so many lies in my life.
The cover-up was on! I lived in fear all the time of people “finding out” about me…so much insecurity and so much justification and all the other crap that comes with being a different person to each one I met.
I don’t live like this anymore. Most of you know how open I am and how forthright. I don’t want to ever go back to the life of hiding and evading truth. It was horrible! I hated myself so much when I got here. I love me now. I enjoy being Kelly and write that on my gratitude list quite often.
My deepest fears and secrets have become open knowledge now if it can help others. I did not believe that when I first heard it in meetings, but it is so true. What a gift! And it did not happen for me overnight.
At first I would tell people all my darkest moments so they would know. Then I got to the point where I only told them when it was pertinent. There was a transition in this part of my life that went on for many years, while I learned how not to over-share, which can still be a challenge for me. But I want to be transparent, so I seldom go to the other hiding side of life. I am okay with that. I want nothing hidden or secret, it feels really awful when I think I have to withhold information about myself from others. I am not at all ashamed or embarrassed any longer. I am okay with everything.
What freedom this honesty thing is. And it is much more intricate than most people know or practice. That is the beauty of the few who do!