April 18

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 18: “The need to prove who you are will vanish once you know who you are.”― Danielle Pierre

As we perform these inventories, we grow in understanding who we are. Those who do not understand themselves are likely to maintain defense mechanisms that are immature and inappropriate ways of being in relationship to others, along with boundary issues and those coping skills that are not healthy as adults.

This is the greatest part of recovery. Not abstinence, but the way we learn to become interactive with others and maintain a sense of autonomy as well as knowing how to join into relationship with others that do not replicate our dysfunctional relationships prior to recovery.

Addiction is always going to foster itself in those relationships that were codependent and dysfunctional. We cannot develop addiction with healthy boundaries and ways of interacting in the world. It is not necessary, nor will it happen. This is why so many return to active addiction. Relapse is the byproduct of not working through these things and participating in active, ongoing, escalating levels of recovery. So much more is needed than abstinence. And it shows when others do not have it.

And there was never anything to prove anyway. That is just what Ego does as it tells you that you are inferior and less than…insecurity needs to prove something. Spiritual fitness does not.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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