April 3

HONESTY MONTH: DAY 3: “You see, I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking, which is, if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.”― Taylor Mali

This quote made me laugh, but it is very true. One of the most important pieces of information we can know about successful relationships is that honesty is not the same as an opinion.

Most people do not know this. They lie because they are afraid to tell others what they think about them, which is an opinion. They truly do not know the difference between being honest with TRUTH and being open with an opinion.

World of difference…a huge one! No one cares for opinions. I am quite fond of telling people to keep them in their mouth. As the old saying goes, “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one.” And to this I add, and I am not in the mood to see or hear either one from you.

Unless I ask someone what they think about something, I am also fond of telling them, when they insist on giving me their opinion, “I do not remember asking.”

It is incredibly rude to constantly believe the world needs our opinions. And yet, it causes more trouble than anything in relationships. As a professional who gets to counsel people on their relationships, this is the most important piece of wisdom I can give…practice “don’t ask, don’t tell.” If you are not asked for an opinion, keep it in your mouth. If you are asked, feel free to spout.

This has NOTHING to do with being honest. Honesty is not a subjective opinion. It is a verifiable truth. If you don’t know, the honest answer to give is “I don’t know.” So easy. So simple. And I have never heard anyone distinguish between the two. So sad!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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