LOVE MONTH: DAY 20: “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”― Brene Brown
When I get to Step 12, there will have been some healing of my story. I will have learned to tell at least my version of my life to that point.
Drugs and alcohol allowed us to run from ourselves for most of our lives. We are quite deluded by what we tell others about ourselves. Steps align us more concretely with the truth.
But that process takes a great deal of time, many years of consistent work with these steps, often counseling and therapy. Why? Because we are so good at using Ego defenses to mask what we are up to. Being as self-centered and arrogant as we are, and using Ego as much as we do, we are going to be in denial of our real story for a very long time.
To be fair, most addicts come from backgrounds of severe abuse and trauma, a great deal of dysfunction in family dynamics, and have used and drank to hide from a lot of these truths. What we do not see right away is our ability to do these same things to others and call it love. Desperation and neediness, along with our delusions of what love means are going to be ongoing issues for most of us. These need to be healed, and that work takes a long time. Then we can begin to heal. This work will be possible only when we have learned to accept our story may have another perspective than the one we have clung to for so long.
The steps are the most beautiful tools I have ever found to do this kind of work. I am such a huge fan of healing my mis-conceptions and mis-perceptions of what life is. True blessings are here!