December 13

LOVE MONTH: DAY 13: “Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go.”― Erich Fromm

Love is a way of BEING. I cannot profess my love if I am treating life, myself, or any other creature badly. It does not compute. It isn’t about possession or jealousy or being selfish or any of these things. It is about the way we walk in this world, on this amazing blue marble, and how we interface with the people who we get to connect with.

Most of all, it is about the relationship we develop around a faith that we begin to have as we process this recovery thing. We begin to care about the person we ARE, the spirit that lives inside of us, and how we can share that spirit of love and kindness with the world around us.

There is no greed or possessiveness or ownership; we learn to walk hand-in-hand without expectations and without a story. For our own good and the good of the others.

If we cannot do that, it is not love. Sex is not love, neediness is not love, desperation is not love; nor is loneliness love.

When we have those things in us or in the other person, there is no love possible. When we have an agenda or a program or a plan, it is not love. If I meet you with how empty I am without you, that is not love, it is a filling up of space. And a way of using you that is not loving at all.

This is true of how we live on this planet, how we worship our own concept of a Higher Power, and how we approach relationships of every kind. A far cry from what we may have been brought up to believe is love; but the result, the true result of the purpose behind Step 12.

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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