September 16

FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 16: “The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”― Albert Einstein

The more I grow in service to the world around me, the freer I become. I love that concept. It is not what I came here to get.

I wanted to be free of my consequences…that is all. Instead, you folks taught me to become completely responsible for them. I did not want that! Oh hell no!

I wanted a clean slate. In order to get that, I had to shift ALL of my attitudes and behaviors. Damn!

I wanted to be free of debt. You taught me how to become responsible and spend what I made. Oh! I had a grand-sponsor who taught us that money I made did not belong to me. It was all to go to those people to whom I owed money. It was THEIR money. If there was anything left AFTER I paid those people, it was for food and gas, etc. Oh!

I wanted to be free from the law. They were after me for a lot of things, debt, crimes, etc. You folks taught me again. That I had to make amends to them. What a stupid idea! I hated that idea! I might have to serve many years in prison.

And I did what you taught me to do. Not always with the loving attitude you guys had, nor with the sense of humor and faith that you had. Those things came AFTERWARDS…who knew? I did not feel willing, but I had nowhere else to turn. In little, tiny increments, one day at a time, those things got cleared away from my life. No one was more amazed than me!

And one little tiny step at a time, one day at a time, I got better. I quit bringing those things into my life and they are not here today. I am free! But it was NOT because I won the lottery. It was NOT because the magic wand was waved over my life and I was released from responsibility. It was when I stood up and TOOK responsibility and did the mopping up and the window washing on my life that it got clean. And because this work was sometimes scary or challenging, I stopped doing those things to destroy myself. I got free of Kelly.

And to the degree that I stay free of Kelly and just give myself away in love and service to the people and situations that come into my life, I remain free. Isn’t that absolutely wonderful?

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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