FREEDOM MONTH: DAY 8: “A man’s spirit is free, but his pride binds him with chains of suffocation in a prison of his own insecurities”― Jeremy Aldana
Step 9 is going to kick the false pride right out of our lives if we perform it correctly. Over these many years, I have heard SO many addicts sit in meetings and spout on and on about telling people they are sorry for things they did…blah, blah, blah. Who cares?
I seldom say I am sorry since I read Step 9 in the BB in that first few months of recovery. I got it. I had to repeatedly look up “amends”, so I was clear that what I heard in meetings was pure BS. It is. There is a mile of difference between an apology and an amends.
I learned this one the hard way when I worked for someone who was truly clear about that. I was chronically late to a job I had in those early days. I would apologize to my boss and he looked at me after a couple of months and said, “Then stop doing it.” Shut me up! And I stopped coming to work late. I got the message!
I am here to learn to live a spiritual life. I cannot say “I’m sorry” like it is a Get Out Of Jail Free card. It isn’t. And I have used that same response to others who continue to say, “I’m sorry.” Or my favorite phrase of “So what?”
We get free to become the people God created us to be ONLY when we let go of this shit and get on with living like we are supposed to. Not just doing the steps, but LIVING them! Spending our days with others being first in our thoughts and minds, not ourselves. This means we go out and do things that need to be done with a heart and mind that are clear and free. If we cannot do that, we clean up the heart and the mind so we can.
That is the only purpose here. “To fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and our Fellows.” I know what that means. Get out of self and go be of service. There is so much that is needed in this world right now. Make sure you are doing the service your free spirit needs to be that person God sent you here to be.