August 21

COURAGE MONTH: DAY 21: “Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”― Shannon L. Alder

I spent many years, and lots of them into recovery, trying to please all the people in my daily life. I had bosses, friends, co-workers, fellows in recovery, etc. It damned near killed me!

The process of doing this thing is one of peeling away the layers that I had accumulated to protect me. I had to lose all of that need for approval from others. This is scary and lonely at first, but SO addictive when that freedom begins to take over my life.

I will always have that core set of protective devices in my life. Today I do not let it be who I am. It is how I used to be. While the remainder still attacks me once in a while with twinges of sadness when someone doesn’t like me, it no longer runs my life or my days. I am free!

And the freer I get from the opinions of others, the happier I am. I don’t hate you for wanting me to be someone else. I just walk away. It is so simple and leaves so much room for life to get bigger and bigger all the time. I love it! Who knew that would happen here?

The really cool part is that I do less harm to others by not pretending to be someone I am not. There is more transparency and authenticity, therefor a great deal less harm. If I end up on their inventory, it is all good for me. As my wonderful and wise sponsor Allene used to say, “Honey, when it comes to resentments, it is always better to give than receive.” I find I sleep at night so much better this way!

Published by: Kelly

I am a therapist and counselor with long-term recovery from addictions and personal trauma. My writing reflects these experiences and the road I have traveled in 12-Step recovery settings, along with the work I have done for over 30 years in the field. My love of dolphins includes the stories of them being healers in places all over the world. I long to offer every broken spirit and body the experience of a healing hug. May my words and stories inform, uplift and delight your spirit and soothe your weary heart.

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