PATIENCE MONTH: DAY 27: “Procrastination is not the expression of patience!”― Tendai Kasusu
A lot of us do not know the difference between putting off what we should be doing and being patient when necessary. It is an important distinction.
There are many things that we do not want to do required in recovery. I did not want to tell the truth to others, clean up my messes, or pay off debts that I had when I got here.
In other words, I did not want to work any kind of spiritual program. But the payoff seemed to be great, so I did what I needed to do to be a REAL member of this deal. That meant I had to become a practicing member of 12-step recovery. A practicing member is one who is actively working the steps and not just talking about them in meetings. In fact, the more we talk about this in meetings, the less we are probably working the steps. Just my observation over the years.
I have always had way too much work to do to talk about it. And those who talk the most are usually procrastinating about actually doing what is right in front of them.
There is a lot to be done in this thing. I always have tasks and things that need to be cleaned up. Taking care of my side of the street is a big job and requires my full attention, all the time. I love to look at YOUR side of the street, because it is a good distraction from what I am supposed to be doing in my own life. This is how we procrastinate. If I am taking your inventory, I don’t have time to do my own. And it is far more easy to do things like that. I can justify this shit all day long, but it will never keep me firmly in the process of recovery.
So I have to know what I am up to and how to turn that into the footwork that will keep me on the right side of my path. Thank God I have learned who to turn to for help in this stuff. And every day, I become more and more uncomfortable with doing it my old way and in believing in my old ideas. Growth is a definite condition of this thing going forward. I must grow or the pain will be too intense to bear. There is no hideout from that!